We all speak different languages; some of us are bilingual and multi-lingual. While others have regional languages that’s accessorized with dialect, vernacular, tone, or even a drawl. Although languages may very, the expressions may change depending on the geographic regions. However, there are very few words that are universal and one of those words is LOVE. Love is a universal language because every person, I don’t care what they say, needs and has a desire to be loved and return love. Nevertheless just like in all languages, there are communication barriers
that have to be overcome to level the playing field. Love is not exempt when it comes to communication barriers. As a matter of fact it is one of the areas where the message can be blocked and the meaning never gets across.
For Instance, people may not know you love them unless you say it, affirm it, or show it.. Whereas, others might want you to show them with Acts of service, or by putting your money where your mouth is. Then again you have some who just need to be with you in the same room breathing with you and you all may never say a word, but the amount of quality time brings you so much joy. Or, you might be the touchy feeling type and need to feel human touch by a hug, stroke, or other ways to know you are loved. What I’ve described are love languages that say love but are expressed differently.
I read “The Five love languages” by Gary Chapman a few years ago, but it didn’t register to me until last year. When I was in offense with people I cared about, which they didn’t’ have a clue, because I presumed they should know me, and my love language (Can you say, Get over yourself – lol). Well, that was absolutely not the case. What I discovered is two-fold: 1. People love you from where they are and out of what they need or 2. People are in tune with you and love you based on your love language because its how they want to be loved too.
If you are unsure what The Five Love Languages are see below:
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Simply this thought, The way we express love is the language we speak and how we want love expressed to us. The missing link is often communication. We don’t verbally express what it is that we want, but at the same time we expect people to know what we need.
I would love to encourage each of you to read the 5 Love Languages by Chapman to discover your love language and to get a sneak peak at the languages of those you love.
In the meantime, here are 6 ways to crack the language barrier of Love languages:
- Communicate your needs
- Don’t be hesitant to affirm others when they do nice things for you.
- Start demonstrating or exhibiting love in ways they can comprehend.
- Observe their behaviors. Be observant. “ Most of us speak our own love language. “- Chapman
- Close your mouth and open your ears. – “ What do they complain about most?
- Pay Attention to the hints – “Successful people always leave clues (hints) “ – Dr. Michael A. Freeman
Don’t feel guilty for how you like to be loved or honored. Love doesn’t come in a one-size fit all category. It’s very much a specialty item that has to be crafted individually.
How has knowing or not knowing someone’s love language affected your past/current relationships? If you had negative experiences with knowing someone’s love language, what steps have you taken to learn them?
Remember, don’t just look it, but be it, because you are it!
Oh and If I’ve never told you I love you…. I LOVE YOU and I am showing it here via Sign language, because I can Show and Tell (smile)!